No Shows to Put On

Well, now that I have been back at my house for a week I have had little to no human interaction and it feels so good. I know that this might sound odd or cruel, whatever you may think of me after this post it is what I truly think. For me, school and personal are totally separate. There are a couple of people and things that intertwine together. My brother, for example, goes to the same university I do and he is part of my personal and school life. I have never been able to combine those two parts of my life together. My friends know one part of me and it is not that I am being fake or dishonest but I guess I always have a layer of protection away from people.

No matter who gets close to me they know certain things about me and may even find out secrets that I have told no one other than my personal life (i.e. my sister and brother). I put on a persona of sorts and it has always boggled my mind as to how I can be so different around others in “the outside world” and yet so different in my personal life? Maybe being different is too strong a word but being more subdued when I am back in my own confined space.

I think that I can be more relaxed and not as open and nonchalant as I am outside. I think that if I were to be myself in the subdued state than I normally am that I would not be seen the same. I personify myself. I work hard and I make sure my life is in some order and that is multiplied in my school work as I am always working and always making sure I have things organized. I think a lot of that has to do with my childhood which is a whole other post which might go up soon, depends on how I am feeling when I am in a place like this.

Sin of the Day: Lust (to be a better person)

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