Today was a really fast day and I was working like normal and hard because, can I tell you, that I have only altered two aprons and I am trying to finish up my third one. Well it is the end of the day and I am ready to go home with my friend but another co-worker of ours who also lives at the apartments asked for a ride back. I know that it is absolutely silly of me to think that being jealous is irrelevant in the long run but it isn’t her physical presence, it is the fact that they have a good, even better relationship.
Yes, being jealous is something I have dealt with and it is because I have never been able to be as open in any friendship. I consider myself the “third wheel”. I was in the car with them and I didn’t say a word unless they asked me something and I tend to do that. When two people are having a conversation and I am in their vicinity, I will not say a word. I tend to become more introverted than I already am, which is normal for me.
I think that I am just being too hard on myself and thinking that I am not good enough to have someone be close to me…it is a hard thing to do. I also know that there were circumstances of being around her roommate for too much of a time so that makes sense to why she wanted to get away for a little bit.
Sin of the Day: Wrath (towards myself for feeling that I am not a good person), Lust (for wanting a better relationship with others).