My headspace these two months have been a whirlwind of “I don’t know” when it comes to The Mermaid Network. I feel as though there has been so much time since posting every single time. I have also realized that I love to just live in the moment. I know that it may not seem that way based on my Instagram, but those are just snapshots. The Mermaid Network is something I hold dear to me but it has been on the back burner and I thought that would change once I had more time. In some ways it is because I am extremely busy with work, other days it is because I am uninspired. You see that girl up above? She is happy, in the photo, but she tried at least 5-10 times to get that perfect shot. “Perfect shot.” When did that become my reality? This is not to say that I don’t love this photo or my time spent in Toronto in the PATH, but I remember telling my sister so many ways to take the photo and getting frustrated that it wasn’t perfect.
This is a small piece of insight when it comes to what is in my head. I am hoping to come back better and stronger and hope that I can share more with you guys soon.
Thanks for your patience.
I don’t act. I don’t even budge to tell them I like them. Sure, I think about it, “Maybe I should tell them now that I like them.” Sometimes the words are at the tip of my tongue but I have not told someone I liked them. The only time that it has happened is when I told my friend, in confidence, and she told my crush, worse mistake ever.
The weird thing about liking someone, for me, is that once I realize it and it clicks…I avoid that boy like the plague. I don’t talk to them or keep in contact with them really. I feel bad about it because it is nothing against them.
However, I don’t act, but after a couple of days my irrational “I LIKE THEM A LOT” thoughts dissipate to rational thoughts so that I can think about what I am doing and what I really feel about that person. I find that if I step away from a situation for a couple of days and when I forget to think about it constantly that I realize what is really going on in my head instead of the angst-worry-driven mind that I have.
I get a text from a guy that I like and I instantly go into mental overdrive.
So, if you get a text from a guy/girl and you like them, I am not saying that you should ignore their text. I am just saying to take a second to think about what they said and what you really want from them. Do you want to hang out with them? Do you want to be friends with them in only a friendly manner? Do you want more? I think that as a person who likes someone right now that I have to think about how I want to handle how we continue our relationship. We are good friends but I don’t want to avoid him like the plague and I don’t want to overbear him with my presence. I need to find a happy medium.
I think that as long as I put our friendship first that it will be much better than overbearing him and texting him everyday or checking in on him constantly or stalking his Facebook. There are certain things to keep in mind when you like someone and that is to remember that you are just in a mental overdrive and you need to step away. What I do to help is to come here and think about it honestly or step away from all technology and read a book.
Find something to get your mind off of the constant angst and worry about what this person really thinks of you.